Is it possible to get married once and for all?

13.05.13 | Category: About Family
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Is it possible to get married once and for all?

Ruslan Narushevich says, that the majority of women are concerned about two questions: «When
will I get married?» and «Where’s my money?». And I often deal with this situation, because until a
woman hasn’t found her chosen one, It would be difficult for her to make another decisions. Where
to live, how to live, what to do… surely that’s a subconscious desire for someone to make difficult
decisions for her.


Just today my husband told me a story. One of the Russians, whom we met in Vrindavan, spread
spiritual books. And a very common question that people ask preachers: «why do we need your
books?». So one day he went to the woman who was selling caviar – and heard the eternal question.
And the answer was born on its own: «You work because you are not married. Because there is
nobody to take care of you, and you on your own have to work on the hated work in order to survive.
But if you had got a husband you would be sitting at home and doing a hobby. That’s what these
books are about». To say that the woman was shocked, It means to say nothing.

It is truly important for a woman to get married. Sometimes this question becomes very painful and
causes discomfort not only to her, but also to the others. Sometimes the clock starts ticking – and
it seems that you need to get married at least someone. Sometimes a woman grabs for the first
comer. Sometimes she wants to love, but she herself is immature and the union collapses…


Sometimes I remember my mental state before the marriage – to further rejoice at the situation at the
moment. Although I was only 23 when I got married, it seemed that it has been an eternity until this
moment. A lot of failed relationships and the heart wounds, permanent throwing- who is he, where
is he, when will he be with me. Craziness on wedding dresses, magazines and movies… And this is
in contrast to this- my secure and relaxed state. There is no need to choose and to rush about. You
just need to learn how to love and to come to an agreement. This inner work is much nicer. Although
there is no mystery and adrenaline in it. But there is something more in it – a resource which helps
you in finding a way how to do something else besides getting married….

That is why women are seeking to get married – they feel that there is something significant in there.
Something that gives the basis for everything else. These are correct and healthy relationships that
lead to this. Only if relationships are set up correctly and are properly supported. Imagine that a
marriage is not just the act of civil status but a new profession. The profession of a wife. We have
been learning 10 years at school an 5 years in the Institute to become an engineer or an economist.
Also there is the constant improvement of professional skills. Just in order to properly lay out the
paper and count numbers. How many years have we been learning to be a wife? How often do we
improve this qualification? I will open a mystery veil – my new online course will be about it. But we
will talk about it later.


You need to get married at first. You need to accumulate a certain qualification, to be «hired for
this job». You need your «employer» to feel that it is you who must be close to him. This is also a
qualification. But in addition we need to find the best employer for ourselves. Not the best ever, but
the best for ourselves.

We should find someone who has such a vacancy, someone who will be able to take care of us.
Someone with whom we can grow and develop together, and give birth to children.

Choice of a spouse is a very important issue – you can prevent many problems only when you have
the attentive attitude to the applicant at the stage of engagement. And yes, it is true that there are
violent men. Men -tyrants. They have been deeply wounded in their childhood and therefore cannot
take care of someone. This fact itself hurts them even more – and this is the reason why they cause
pain to others. It becomes even harder for them because of that – but they cannot find another
solution besides making more pain to other people. It is the vicious circle of human misery. They are,

however, only 5-10 per cent of the total number of men. And this tyranny becomes visible at once –
if we pay attention to it. In relation to the senior, junior, animals… Although even such a man could
be cured with love – but it would take thousands of times more forces and time. And in fact there
are still all the other men who are «normal». That is, they are able to bear the responsibility for the
woman and not turn into a tyrant. Each of them has its disadvantages, and it is unreparable . This is
what we need to agree with… Then they will grow only better from year to year.


To marry once and for all- this task is being solved.. If you go to the process of getting married
consciously…. If you stop looking for a husband, not getting stuck on the idea of a white dress, and
look inside – what prevents me from all of this happened to me?

Olga Valyaeva –

Translated by Alena Belousova

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